9

Coping With the Presidential Election

9 - How to cope with the election

If you’re reading this now, then the 2020 presidential election is over, so you may be tempted to pass this one up, but this is content that matters even more today.

Let me explain why.

The purpose of this podcast is to help you form the right identity that you need to be successful in life. To help you reach the goals that you want and get the happiness that you deserve.

To do this you need to learn what you can control in your life and accept what you cannot. Unfortunately, people often confuse the two. Many of us fail to control the habits we should and instead turn our attention and energy to things outside of our control.

This only leads to more misery and lack of success in your personal life. And you don’t want that.

If you don’t believe me, think about someone in your life who is consumed by politics and ask yourself, “is this person happy?” If that person is you, then ask yourself, “am I happy?”

This isn’t saying the election isn’t important, or that your vote doesn’t matter, or that you shouldn’t be involved in politics. Because of course those things are important and they matter.

But you have to do it in a way that doesn’t allow the results that are beyond your control to take over your life and prevent you from controlling the rest of your life. This episode isn’t telling you not to be political, it’s about learning how to do so in a constructive way that you control.

Don’t react to what triggers you. You have to engage the world in a positive and personal way. I’ll talk about how you can do that on this episode.

What we’ll talk about in this episode

How to stop reacting to politics as a trigger and learn to engage with the world from a healthy self-image

Judging others is bad for you. It doesn’t matter the context, if you’re using politics to judge others, then this is only going to hold you back

How to separate your emotions from things that you can’t control

How your response to politics affects your habits

Learn how to recognize patterns of behavior that affect you for good or bad

Finally, I’ll discuss something you can practice in your daily life that will help you engage the world with positivity and not just react to the world

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Of course, that’s going to be different for everyone, so I’d love to hear about yours. Let me know about your AHA moment by emailing me at [email protected]

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Episode Transcription

Episode 9 - How to cope with the 2020 election

[TEASER]

You’re listening to episode number 9 of the identity factor podcast… this was supposed to be a part 2 that expanded on last week’s episode, but I’m calling an audible because I have something very important for you to hear. By the time this episode drops, election day will be right around the corner or maybe even have passed, and I know some of you may be feeling a little triggered. Well, regardless of your political affiliation or who you support… what I’m about to share with you will fit into any framework of belief or philosophy you may have and it will allow you to alleviate some of the stress or anxiety you may be experiencing around this election.

[INTRO]

Hi there, I’m Anthony Serino and by joining this podcast, you’ve started a life-changing journey with me as your guide. You’re now also part of a community of like-minded individuals who light this world with passion. As a high performance coach and expert in habit modification I’ve worked with amazing individuals from all over the world who have transformed their lives from within . As you listen to this podcast, you’re going to get an inside look at my science-based approach to transformation.

[BODY]

You may have heard the quote “Be the change you want to see in the world” that we often attribute to Gandhi. But he didn’t really say those exact words… that quote was simply derived from the essence of his original quote.

Which goes like this

“We but mirror the world. All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body. If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. This is the divine mystery supreme. A wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness. We need not wait to see what others do.”

Gandhi was revealing and really reiterating a profound truth that has transcended religion, politics, and even science for thousands of years. And it’s a core tenet of this podcast and my work with clients… everything you see and observe of the external world around you is simply a reflection of what is unseen within yourself… this is why you’ll often hear me say… not only is your external world a reflection of your internal world… but your internal world very literally creates your external world.

And you can replace “world” with “reality” if you like… or “reality” with “perception”... whatever works for you.

But regardless of your interpretation when you truly come to adopt this notion that you can and must be the change you want to see in the world… that’s where real confidence, power, and transformation comes from.

Because first, what it does, is it stops you from judging others… and if you’ve listened to my earlier episode on relationships… you’ll know now that your own judgement is what causes you to get triggered…So you cannot be triggered if you are not passing judgement on someone or something.

And when you allow yourself to get triggered by someone or something, (cough cough politicians, politics, and the media) who or which is outside of you and part of your external world, you allow those people or those things to control you.

I’m making up dialogue for your brain here, but essentially your mind goes “I don’t like this thing or that thing about that person or that thing” and then it activates an emotional response congruent with that judgement. This is what we mean when we say “triggered”...

And what happens? You automatically experience frustration, anger, resentment, fear, doubt, anxiety, stress, or even bouts of depression.

All because you judged someone or something.

And the more you pass judgement and subsequently get triggered… the easier it gets for your brain to activate those negative feelings and emotions automatically… they actually get even stronger.

You very literally become controlled by who or what is triggering you. Your external world is affecting your internal world when it should be, and can be the other way around.

So step one to coping with the 2020 election is… stop passing judgement. On your friends, on your family, on people with different political views, on politicians. Once you do that, you take back control.

But why do we judge people or things in the first place… why do some people like country music and others don’t? Why do some people prefer vanilla ice cream and others chocolate?

We all have preferences based on our own beliefs. And we learned our beliefs at some point. And of course… our beliefs are a byproduct of our identity… which we also learned. I mean, you weren’t born a democrat, you weren’t born a republican…you weren’t with whatever identity or self-image you have now. Somewhere along the way you developed a political affiliation, or lack thereof for you independents out there, based on information your brain has taken in from the moment you were born.

But let’s expand on this even further… if your beliefs stem from your identity… and your preferences stem from your beliefs… then what comes next? Well then we have your actions, thoughts, and emotions which will ALWAYS reinforce your preferences and beliefs.

And by now, we know that those actions, thoughts, and emotions are all habituated. I mean, you don’t have to learn to get triggered by that political candidate everytime you see or hear something about them. It just happens automatically…

Based on your personal and political beliefs… your brain now activates habits congruent with those beliefs. If everytime you hear the name Trump or Biden, and either one of them are diametrically opposed to your beliefs, your brain has habituated emotional responses and learned to activate the anger, frustration, sadness, whatever in order to reinforce that your beliefs are in fact opposite of that candidate.

Here’s the thing, if you’re happy with how you’re responding to the world around you and you’re okay getting triggered and experiencing that anger, frustration, and what not, then there’s probably no need to change anything. However, if you want to be happier, more confident and focused, and take back control of your actions, thoughts, and emotions, I’m here to help. That’s why I developed a free training called the Habit Modification Formula which you can get access to by visiting theanthonyserino.com/free. With it, you’ll discover a step-by-step strategy to easily break those unwanted habits, take back control of your emotions, and start designing the life you deserve. So if you’re tired of getting triggered and letting things outside of your control control you, learn how to flip that script by heading over to theanthonyserino.com/free.

But let me give you a quick tip right now that you can use to stop those triggers in their tracks.

Like I said, those triggers become habitual and happen automatically… so you’re very literally in the habit of getting triggered and then subsequently responding with thoughts and emotions that reinforce why you got triggered in the first place. And everything amplifies until you’re just so angry and frustrated that now you start acting in ways that you may regret. You end up being snippy with that friend or family member, you find yourself more stressed at work and getting angry with your coworkers.

It’s a pattern really. And that’s all habits are… patterns. What’s the pattern? Well, first you have a cue, or trigger in this case… that activates behaviors, thoughts, and emotions… which then produces a result, which is always a reinforcement of your beliefs and identity.

So you have the trigger, the response to that trigger, and then the result that will always be congruent with your beliefs and identity.

Which you may be thinking “well, I don’t want to change my identity or my beliefs, but you’re saying the outcome won’t change unless I change.”

Well not exactly…

Your beliefs and identity are not necessarily the problem. The trigger is also not the problem… trump will always be trump, and biden will always be biden… and if you’re views oppose theirs, there will always be a trigger…

But the result reinforcing your beliefs and identity is also not the problem… because when I say result, I’m simply referring to that reinforcement which is not inherently good or bad.

It’s the pattern of behavior, thoughts, and emotions in between the trigger and the result that are the problem.

So here’s the key if you’re happy with who you are, but not happy with how you’re responding to the world around you.

Let the trigger remain the same, but consciously choose to respond in a more positive way that will ALSO result in the reinforcement of your beliefs and identity.

For example… someone makes a political statement or supports a politician that you do not agree with… you may feel some anger or frustration automatically towards that person because that’s what you’ve been conditioned to do and it’s been a constant reinforcement that YOUR beliefs and views are different than THEIRS. You’ve reinforced your identity thousands of times this way. And it has become a habit.

But you can still reinforce your beliefs and identity without responding with that anger and frustration.

Instead of responding in a way that often leads to disrespectful comments and a breakdown in communication, simply CHOOSE to dismiss those feelings and allow yourself to engage in a thoughtful, respectful, and intelligent conversation where all sides are considered.

What does this do? Well, you’ll probably be pleasantly surprised to realize when you approach others with respect and objectiveness, they will nearly always respond in a similar manner.

And then what happens… you have a mature, intelligent conversation which results in you both having a clearer understanding of the other’s beliefs and viewpoints…. WHICH only reinforces just how different your beliefs and viewpoints actually are.

So you still had the trigger… but you responded in a more positive manner with better behaviors, thoughts, and emotions, and then as a result you were in fact able to still reinforce your beliefs and identity.

Sounds like a win-win to me.

And I know some of you may be like me and not want to discuss politics at all, but you still get triggered when you see that post on social media, or that crazy uncle starts talking politics, or whatever else might trigger you.

So here’s step 2 to coping with the election: DISENGAGE.

Anyone who knows me knows that the thing I social distance from most is politics… I don’t read the posts my friends put out there on Facebook, I don’t even watch the news… and when someone engages me about politics, I simply tell them I am not as educated as I’d like to be about that topic (which is true, because like I said I don’t watch the news).

And before I get an email from someone listening to this about how I need to educate myself so I know what’s going on in the world and how it affects me…

Let me make this clear… the only thing I focus on is how I affect myself and those around me. I do not concern myself with external things unless I am willing and able to get involved in whatever it is I don’t agree with.

Politics is not something I have the desire to get involved in, so I don’t concern myself with it. I keep my head down and focus on what I know will make the biggest impact on this world and what I have the most control over. And right now it’s things like this podcast, and working with clients one on one, being there for family and friends… I believe putting all my time and energy into those things will have much more of an impact regardless of how educated I am on politics.

And don’t get me wrong, some of you may actually get involved in politics because you’re not happy with what you see going on. You’ve joined local committees, you’ve gone door to door for candidates you believe in, you’ve volunteered for various campaigns you support… I can and do get behind all of that even if you don’t have the same beliefs or opinions as I do.

But I know there’s people out there who just like to complain… the keyboard warriors of the world. Those who relentlessly voice their disdain and frustration, but are unwilling or lack the motivation to actually “be the change they want to see in the world”

So here’s a little PSA before we wrap up…

If you want change, you must engage.

It’s not enough to complain about that shitty politician you don’t like with a few social media posts. It’s not enough to get in an argument with your friends and family about the election. It’s not enough to just sit back and dwell in that anger and frustration.

You must get involved. Take action. Whatever you believe in, get off your ass and fight for it…

This episode was obviously centered around politics, but the concepts I’ve discussed can help you in any area of your life.

And before we wrap up, let me ask you… what was the aha factor for you in this episode? A little shorter than the other episodes, but there were still some great takeaways. So what was it?

What resonated with you?

Was it the fact that your triggers are simply a symptom of you passing judgment?

Or maybe you realize you need to start holding yourself accountable and taking action towards changing things you’ve been complaining about.

Either way, how will your life be different tomorrow when you start making changes today?

Okay! That’s it for episode number 9… like I said, we went a little off script and I’m pushing Part 2 of last week’s episode to next week. Regardless, I felt like I had to give you all some insight on how to cope with the election this year because I know it’s been triggering some of you out. Next week we are back to our regularly scheduled programming and I’ll be talking more about the power of your subconscious mind and you can start transforming your life from the inside out.

For show notes and more details on any of the episodes you listen to head over to theanthonyserino.com and click on the podcast page.

[Outro]

If you’re the type of person who likes to get involved in a community of like-minded individuals come join our group Inside The Identity Factor on Facebook. Also, stay up to date with the latest content by following me on Instagram. If you have questions, I’m here to help. You can email me at [email protected] and I may even feature your question on an upcoming episode!

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