Name your motivation (and why it matters)
What is your why?
No...it’s not the title of a Cure song (forgive me).
When you want to stop a habit or create a new habit, it’s important to remember the reason why.
That seems obvious, of course you need to be aware of why you’re doing something, right?
But the reason is different than you might think. To achieve your goal, it’s crucial to think beyond whatever concrete reason you have in front of you.
Are you working out because you want to get fit? Because you want to be ripped?
Are you hustling everyday because you want to make a million dollars?
Are you burning the midnight oil because you want to own your own business and you want it to succeed?
It’s important to have those concrete goals outlined. There’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, it’s important.
But if you’re going to make it - and I mean, if you’re really going to create that new habit in a way where you’re still doing it six months to a year from now - then you need to get at the deeper reason why.
Think about identity
First off, I hate saying “the deeper reason.” I like deep thinking as much as the next guy, but I know and you know that speaking that way is just code for mumbo jumbo a lot of the time.
But sometimes there’s just no other way to put it...and trying to think of a deeper reason isn’t all that hard.
All it means is this, why do you want that concrete goal? Why does it matter in terms of who you are? In terms of your identity.
To put it another way, why are you not satisfied with what you have now so that you think you have to change something? How is that lack of satisfaction a matter of your identity?
What do I mean?
For example, you joined a gym and you want to get in the habit of working out. You want a great body. You want to be strong. Sexy.
Whatever the reason is, you don’t think of your body that way now. Maybe you don’t think you’re strong or fit or sexy.
How is that out of touch with the identity you want?
When people look at you, do they see the guy who looks like he could crush anything with his bare hands? Do you look like the person who would look sexy with confidence on the dance floor?
What is it that you want on the level of your identity?
When I said that I hate the expression deeper reason, I just mean this, most of us have some reason related to our identity for why we want to do things. We just don’t always put it into words. Even if we know it in the back of our minds.
Maybe you’re just not as self-reflective. Maybe it feels silly to admit the reason for why you want things. Maybe it’s as simple as you just never stopped to think about it. Whatever it is, you know why you want something, you just haven’t put it into words.
Put that reason into words. Identify it.
Identify it, because that’s what you want your identity to be, if your efforts to create a habit succeeds. And you need to identify it and name it and think about how it makes you feel, because that’s what’s going to carry you when it’s hard.
Identity matters when it counts
Let’s say you’re hustling for a million dollars. Now, you might have a million reasons for wanting a million bucks. Money is money. It does lots of things.
But let’s say the deeper reason you want it is because you want independence. Sure you want a Maybach and exotic vacations. But what really motivates you is that you want independence in life.
You’ve seen family and friends who’ve never been financially independent. You’ve seen what debt and wage slavery has done to others. So you want that independence that comes with wealth.
That’s crucial to your identity, the independence to be your own man or woman.
And if that’s what motivates you to make money, then you have to put it into words. You have to identify it. Think about how it makes you feel on the level of your identity and put it into words.
Anybody can work hard.
Anybody can go the extra mile on a given day. But you’re only gonna push through and commit to the habit when it matters...when it’s crucial to the very identity you want.
Will power isn’t gonna cut it when you’re bone tired, when every shitty thing has happened to you that day, when the weight of the world is on your shoulders.
Will power isn’t enough every damn day. At the end of the day, the reason has to be on the level of your identity , and that’s why you need to know the real, deeper reason motivating you and put it into words.
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