How shadowboxing creates new habits

brain-based friction habit habit hacks shadowbox Feb 08, 2022

What is shadowboxing?

Shadowboxing is boxing without an opponent. Moving your hands and feet. Throwing punches. Dance like a butterfly. Sting like a bee.

But it’s just you. You’re not fighting anyone.

You go through the motions without an opponent. And you do this to get the motions down for when you DO fight an opponent.

Fighters shadowbox so they can train their muscle memory. When they fight a real person, they won’t have to focus their attention on their own movements, because it’s second nature.

Instead, they can focus all of their energy and attention on their opponent.

Okay…

What does this have to do with forming new habits, though?

When you create a new habit, reduce as much friction as possible between your current behavior and the new habit you want to create.

One way to do this is shadowboxing. Shadowboxing is acting out a fight before a real fight. When you shadoxbox a habit, you act out the habit before you have to do it for real or when you’re in a situation you want the habit for.

Shadowboxing gets the habit in your muscle memory. Then when the situation calls for it, you don’t have to focus or think about it.

You’re just comfortable doing it. And it makes the new habit a part of your identity.

How to act out a habit

But what does it mean to actually act out a habit? Isn’t a habit something that you just do in a given situation? How exactly can you “act it out” outside of the situation?

Sometimes it can just mean going through the motions, even if you don’t feel ready.

For example, if most of your work is from your computer, and you want to start a habit of getting up and getting work done early in the morning. Maybe you’ve created a habit of not being productive until later in the day, and you want to start working at 6 am.

Get up and go through all the motions of doing that habit. Do it every day. Until it clicks. Be ready at 6 am in the morning. Have your coffee at hand. Be at the desk. Go through all the motions.

If it takes a while for the “habit” of actually getting work done to stick, at least get into the habit of doing all the things that can let that habit take place.

Don’t beat yourself up if it takes a few days to *actually* be productive at that time.

This is a form of shadowboxing. Going through all the motions and getting them into your muscle memory. Reduce the friction between your current state and the habit you want to form.

Start doing all the steps associated with the habit you want to form. Make them form your identity. You're somebody that “does this thing.” You're someone who gets productive at 6 am every morning.

Go through the motions. Those motions will start creating results.

That’s one way to shadowbox.

Here’s another way

But you can also practice the habit you want outside of the situation.

That’s where you might have to get creative.

Let’s say negotiation is a part of your business. Whether that’s discussing fees or contracts, whatever. Maybe you’ve developed a habit of being too passive. You want to be more direct. You want to state your goals more directly with a potential client.

But when you find yourself in a negotiation, you find yourself defaulting to old habits. You fail to be direct. You accept compromises that you don’t want. You don’t confidently state your goals.

You want to develop a habit of negotiating better, but you get nervous in the moment.

This is where the concept of shadowboxing can really shine. And how it can help you create dynamic habits.

If you want to negotiate better, then you can literally shadowbox this skill. Practice negotiating. With yourself or with someone you know and trust.

I’m not referring to different philosophies on how to do this, but once you know how you want to negotiate, literally practice doing this the way you think you want to do it.

It may feel funny. It may feel weird. But there’s a reason why people practice these things. Get used to saying the things that you want to say in the way you want to say it.

This form of shadowboxing is harder, but it’s also effective. It generally applies to the type of habits that you want to form in social situations. Find a way to practice those habits outside of the given social situation, so you’ll be prepared when it arises.

Get in your muscle memory, so when you’re in a real situation, you’ll be more able to do it.

Why? Because you’re used to it. Because you’ve practiced it so much that it’s a part of your identity.

Think analytically. Act intuitively.

Shadowboxing helps you practice habits and think about them analytically. The problem with a lot of habit formation is that we often try to analyze our habits when we need them the most.

Analyze and study your habits when you’re practicing them, so that when you need the habit, you do it intuitively.

Then it’s second nature. Part of your identity.

And when it’s part of your identity, then it’s truly a habit.

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