Forget the Work/Life Balance Myth
Focus Mindset = more effective than the Work/Life Balance
First off let me say this: this habit hack may not be for everybody.
That’s true of all habit hacks in general - take what you think makes sense to you - but this one is for overachievers only.
I know this might seem like a cheap, catchy headline, but this really is the sort of habit hack that will only appeal to the entrepreneurial mindset.
To be happy and more productive, create a Focus Mindset. Think of your work in terms of periods or seasons of focus. Some periods require more focus and some require less focus. Shift between periods of more and less focus and be more happy and productive.
Focus...and forget about the myth of the work/life balance.
Let me define what I mean.
Why not the work/life balance?
The myth of the work/life balance is the idea that a person’s work shouldn’t overwhelm their life. A person should be able to have a rewarding and challenging career without letting it take over the rest of their life, preventing them from enjoying family, recreation, leisure, etc.
The idea is that a person will be happier and healthier - and maybe even more productive - if their life is “balanced.”
And like I’ve already said, it’s a myth, and one that you need to get rid of if you want to be productive and successful.
You're harshing my vibe, man
That sounds harsh, right?
Look, there’s obviously nothing wrong with balance. And there’s nothing wrong with wanting a healthy appreciation of family and private time. Everyone knows the danger of being so obsessed with work that you neglect your family or your health.
The idea of a work/life balance is a well-intentioned idea with good points. Like most myths it has some elements of truth. But the problem lies with the idea of balance.
Balance implies a false distinction between work and life. That’s a problem. If you want to be a successful entrepreneur or do anything really big, then you have to get rid of that distinction. Period.
The idea of a balance between your work and your life is a false distinction, and it’s also a vague idea in the first place, which just makes it frustrating to have as a goal. Again, balance is good, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not healthy to set work and life in opposition.
Work hard, play hard
I can already hear what you’re thinking: does this mean I just have to work all the time to be successful?
No, that’s not what I’m saying. You need time with family and friends. You deserve time to lay out in the sun listening to music. Cooking good food. Reading a book. Whatever it is you do for leisure.
All I’m saying is, don’t get trapped into thinking there’s a separation between your “work life” and your “home life.”
There’s no “work” you and “home” you. There’s just you.
Stop splitting your life into different parts. There’s just your life.
And success in all parts of your life has to spring from your identity.
Let’s put the cards on the table. I said at the beginning of this post that this was targeted at entrepreneurs. If you’re someone that is in business for yourself and you’re trying to create your own thing, then you already know that there’s no hard line between work and the rest of your life.
Creating your own business is hard. It takes extraordinary amounts of time and dedication. But you do it because you want independence and you want the flexibility to do your own thing. You don’t want to be stuck in a 9 to 5, working for someone else, where your time and your schedule is dictated for you.
That’s why you need to ditch the idea of a work/life balance and replace it with the idea of focus.
The Focus Mindset
The reality is there are always going to be responsibilities in your life. I saw a meme this week - Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.
Now, that’s kind of pessimistic, but it’s kind of funny too, because chances are, we’ve all been there. Sometimes it feels like there’s always something to do, and if you run a business, then that’s definitely true. But there are times when there is more to be done than other times.
That’s why you need to shift your thinking to periods of focus. There are times in life and in your business when you need to be more focused. You may need to work hard. Harder than normal.
If you’ve hired someone new, then it’s going to take an increased amount of time to train them right now. If you’re launching a new marketing campaign, you’re going to be more involved. If you’re trying to develop a new product, then this will demand more of your time.
There are going to be times in your business where you have to shift into periods of deeper and more intense focus. But this can’t and shouldn’t be all the time. There will be times when you can enjoy and reap the fruits of your labor.
Be prepared to shift back and forth between periods of less and periods of more focus.
Two things are important when thinking about focus. One, focus will make you more flexible. Two, you have to like what you are doing if you want to focus.
Deep focus leads to flexibility
You’re working hard so that you’ll be successful. You want to be successful so that you’ll have more freedom and control. When you’re successful and you work for yourself, then you have more flexibility.
While reality is always more complex, It is that simple at the end of the day. If you’ve had the focus to build a robust business, then you have the flexibility to take that trip or make yourself available to your family when they need you.
It doesn’t mean you can take off all the time in the world, but it will mean that you can take off when you need to. That’s what flexibility means.
The second thing is that you do need to enjoy what you’re doing, at least on some level. I talked about this earlier, but if you want to be productive, then you want to create habits that you actually like doing. That includes work too. You don't want work be a source of negative friction and emotions.
This is particularly important for those with the entrepreneurial mindset. Obviously it’s too easy to just tell someone to do what they love. Let’s be honest, that doesn’t work for everyone. But you can’t get stuck in a business that you hate either.
A lot of people just focus on what makes money. That’s great. We all need money. That’s why they call it money. But you need to find something that you enjoy, something that challenges you and calls you to be the best form of your identity.
This past weekend, I went to a pool party and met a guy who builds and installs fire suppression systems for garbage dumps. Before this conversation, I didn’t even know that was a thing, but this was a guy who was clearly interested in his trade and loved to talk about it.
And you know what? Listening to him tell me about it, it was interesting. Even though that’s not a subject that I would ever personally try to learn about. But it was interesting, because he was so passionate about it. He had found something that he liked doing, so now he’s able to do it well and be successful.
Ditch the distinction between work and life.
Think about your work in terms of seasons or periods. Some seasons require more focus, others don’t.
These two things are crucial. Focus leads to flexibility. And to get focused it means you have to like what you’re doing.
Be happy between A and B
The main problem with the work/life balance myth is that it sets up a vague, almost impossible goal. Life is unpredictable and filled with twists and turns. It’s almost impossible to consistently create tidy, predictable weeks where everything goes smoothly.
And you know what? That’s okay. That’s what makes life interesting.
But if your goal is a work/life balance where everything is perfectly integrated and smooth...then it’s never going to happen. And it’s not healthy to have goals that are always out of reach. All that does is create frustration and anxiety and - even worse - self-judgment.
These negative emotions will only serve to limit your subconscious, which will make you less productive.
And remember, if you like what you’re doing, then it’s possible to be happy in the here and now. It’s possible to be happy when you’re focused and working hard on something you like. Happiness shouldn’t be attached to some vague, hard-to-define goal.
False binary
The work/life myth also sets up a false binary where work = bad and life = good. Whether people mean to or not, when you set up a binary between work and life, you always change your perspective to think of work as “bad.”
Again, obviously it’s good to want a life where the demands of your work don’t take over your life. And it’s good to want a healthy balance in life. But if you set yourself up to think of work as “bad” then that’s only going to create negative emotions associated with work in your subconscious.
That will make you less productive, which will only create a self-reinforcing cycle of negativity surrounding work in your subconscious.
Focus > work/life balance
To sum up - forget the idea of a work/life balance.
Find something that you like doing. Then create a Focus Mindset. Shift between periods of more focus and periods of less focus. Get rid of the negative emotions that come from chasing the work/life balance and let the focus mindset lead to flexibility in your life.
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