Never be the best in the room

be-do-have habit hacks identity Aug 10, 2021

Hang out with people better than you

In an earlier habit hack, I talked about the importance of your environment.

Your personal environment is even more important to your success.

In order to be your best, never be the best in the room.

You want your friends to be smarter, wealthier, and healthier than you.

It’s a paradox.

If you want to be the best, make sure you’re not the best (in the room).

Surround yourself with people that will challenge you to be the best version of yourself.

Here are three reasons why you should never be the best in the room.

1 - Copy success

Surround yourself with the best and give yourself examples of success to imitate.

Everyone thinks they’re unique. Guess what? You are unique! That’s absolutely true. That’s one of the reasons why this habit hack is focused on creating your best self.

But you still learn through imitation. That’s because we all do. It’s how humans learn. Every single one of us.

When you tied your shoes this morning, I’m guessing you didn’t do it with your own patented technique. Rather, you did it the same way we all learned how to do it. By watching someone else.

We learn through imitation because...it works. It doesn’t mean you don’t have your own talents and ideas. It just means that you should copy what works and free up your brainpower to create success in other ways.

You have your own particular talents and skills. So do those around you. Once you accept that everyone is unique and everyone copies, you see the genius of imitating the success of your friends and associates.

Your friend who knows how to work out? Copy him. Your friend who knows how to network? Copy her. Your friend that brings a positive attitude to every conversation? Copy that friend too.

You get the point.

2 - Identity

Identity is the most important ingredient to your success.

One of the biggest tools in my brain’s toolbox is the Be - Do - Have model.

BE the person who will DO the things you need to HAVE the success you want.

Most people do this the opposite way. They focus on what they want in life and then try to construct the habits to get there. But you have TO BE the person who has those habits before everything else.

Identity is the first step. Sounds complicated, but it’s not. And one of the easiest ways to get there is by surrounding yourself with other people who have a successful identity.

Iron sharpens iron.

It’s a cliche.

I love cliches. And you know what? You do too.

You love cliches because they’re true and they work.

When you’re around other people with successful identities. Their modes of being will rub off on you. Their speech. Their attitude. All those intangibles that make up a person’s identity will start to affect you as well.

But don’t copy their music tastes. Your uber-successful banker friend is probably still listening to Nickleback. That’s okay - he’s still cool and all.

But you have the better playlist.

3 - Good company stops bad habits

We all have bad habits. Some are harmless. Others are toxic.

Certain people let you get away with bad habits. Are those the people who care about you?

Here’s the hard truth: some people will enable you and some people will call you out on your shit.

Which person do you think is better for you?

You might get careless about your appearance. You might stop exercising. Drink too much. Start smoking again. Waste money. Spend too much time watching Netflix.

Whatever it is, you want the friend that’s going to say, “hey, what’s going on? Are you alright?” Because people that hold you accountable care about you.

And you want people in your life that hold you accountable.

You don’t want to hang around the person with the same bad habit. That person won’t encourage you to quit a bad habit, because it makes them feel better about themselves.

Relationships are complicated. You can’t always control who you know. But you will be more successful when you surround yourself with successful people and you won’t indulge bad habits as much.

Give back

Life doesn’t have to be a zero sum game. Part of being your best is that you’ll set a good example for others to follow too. When you’re being your best, you’ll give back to others.

Now, I happen to believe that, but it doesn’t just have to be a feel good thing (although I think it’s enough to want to do good for others).

Regardless, when you’re the best you can be, others will want to be around you more. And that leads to more success.

And you know what? It’s okay to tie success to being a good person. Because look, I don’t care if you’re the sort of person that’s just after more money. You still want to be a good person. We all do.

The good news is that you can do both.

So, the bottom line - never be the best in the room. Surround yourself with successful people of all types. Imitate them. Let your relationships form your identity. Cut off as many opportunities as you can for your bad habits.

And when you find success, give back to others. That’s how you’ll create success and the best version of yourself you can be.

Work with Anthony and hit the rocket fuel 🚀button on your success!

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